Calm Cybersecurity for High-Conflict Litigation: “Private Intel” Basics Without the Paranoia
- Andrew Wright
- Jan 27
- 4 min read
High-conflict litigation changes the risk math.
In most divorces or custody disputes, cybersecurity means “don’t click weird links.” In high-conflict cases, it can mean: someone is motivated, has access to shared history, and may be willing to use third parties (friends, family, PIs, even “helpful” acquaintances) to gather information, provoke mistakes, or shape a narrative.
This isn’t a call to panic. It’s a calm, professional reminder: there are simple, ethical, boring steps you can take to reduce your attack surface and keep your case (and your kids) safer.
Think of this as operational security (OPSEC) for normal people:
> Reduce what’s exposed
> Compartmentalize what matters
> Make account takeover hard
> Assume devices and cloud sync can betray you if misconfigured
What “attack surface” looks like in family court
The biggest problems we see aren’t Hollywood hacks. They’re:
> Shared Apple IDs / Google accounts still linked
> Old devices still signed in (iPad at the ex’s house, a laptop you forgot about)
> Email forwarding rules you didn’t set (or set years ago and forgot)
> Cloud backups and cross-device syncing quietly replicating everything
> SMS-based 2FA being bypassed via SIM swap or port-out scams (rare, but real)
The goal is to close the easy doors.
Explore each the relevant topics below to learn more:
The “30-minute hardening” checklist (highest ROI) — If you do nothing else, do these
Change your primary email password (Gmail/iCloud/Outlook)
Your email is the “keys to the kingdom” because password resets go there.
Turn on strong MFA (not SMS if you can avoid it)
Prefer passkeys or a hardware security key (FIDO/WebAuthn) when available; they’re far more resistant to phishing than SMS codes.
Audit “Devices signed in” + revoke anything you don’t recognize
Do this in your Apple ID / Google account security settings.
Check email forwarding + filters
Look for auto-forwarding, hidden rules, or “filters” that silently send copies elsewhere.
Update your phone and laptop
Most real-world compromise still relies on unpatched software.
Communications: what to use (and how to use it safely)
Signal for messaging and calls (recommended)
Signal is the gold-standard “default” for high-sensitivity messaging and voice/video calls because it uses end-to-end encryption designed to protect content even if messages pass through servers.
Best practices (important):
> Turn on a Signal registration lock / PIN (prevents easy re-registration attacks).
> Verify safety numbers with key contacts for higher assurance.
> Be intentional about linked devices (desktop/iPad). If you don’t need multi-device, don’t use it.
Proton Mail for sensitive email (recommended)
Email is messy because it’s built for forwarding and archiving. Proton’s model is aimed at reducing provider access to stored content (their “zero-access encryption” approach).
How to use it well in litigation:
> Create a case-only email identity (separate from your everyday inbox).
> Use it for: attorney comms, document exchange, scheduling, and court-facing logistics.
> Avoid mixing it with shopping accounts, newsletters, or old shared logins.
Cloud sync: either secure it deliberately, or disable it deliberately
Cross-device syncing is convenient—until it isn’t.
The risk
If someone gains access to your Apple/Google account (or a device that’s still signed in), they may get:
> Photos
> Messages
> Notes
> Location history
> Backups that include app data
The calm approach
Pick one of two strategies:
Option A: Keep cloud sync, but harden it
> Use strong MFA.
> Review signed-in devices.
> If you’re in Apple’s ecosystem, consider enabling Advanced Data Protection (adds end-to-end encryption for many iCloud categories, including iCloud Backup, when enabled).
Option B: Reduce cloud sync to near-zero
> Turn off backups/sync for the most sensitive categories (messages, photos, notes).
> Store key evidence locally in an encrypted container (more on that below).
There’s no universally “right” answer—just be intentional.
The biggest mistake is leaving sync on by accident.
Evidence and documents: treat them like “crown jewels”
High-conflict cases often involve a lot of screenshots, recordings, PDFs, and timelines. That evidence is valuable—so protect it.
Practical tools and habits
> Use an encrypted storage option (examples):
- Proton Drive (encrypted storage model)
- A local encrypted vault/app (e.g., an encrypted container) for the truly sensitive set
> Keep a clean file structure (Month → Topic → Exhibit).
OPSEC isn’t just security—it’s reducing chaos.
Key habit: don’t keep your only copy in one place.
Have two secure copies: one local + one cloud (hardened), or two separate encrypted locations.
Passwords: stop reusing them (this matters more than people think)
If someone knows your birthday, pet name, or old favorite password pattern, they can guess more than you think.
Use a password manager and make every password unique. This single change prevents “credential stuffing” (using leaked passwords across sites).
Then add MFA on top. NIST and CISA both emphasize MFA—especially phishing-resistant methods—as a major risk reducer.
The “family plan” trap: shared ecosystems and quiet access
In high-conflict situations, shared infrastructure is a hidden liability:
> Family Sharing / shared photo albums
> Shared cloud storage
> Shared phone plans
> Shared password vaults
> Shared routers / smart home devices
If you’re separating from a shared ecosystem, do a clean break:
> New primary email (or at least a new case-only email)
> New password manager vault
> Remove unknown/old devices from trusted lists
> Consider a new carrier account if your phone plan is still intertwined
If you suspect compromise (keep it calm and methodical)
Don’t “test” the other person. Don’t send bait. Don’t escalate.
Do this instead:
Assume the device/account may be compromised
Secure your primary email first (password + MFA + device audit)
Move critical accounts to phishing-resistant MFA where possible
Preserve evidence (screenshots of weird logins, forwarding rules, device lists)
For serious concerns: consider professional help (IT/security professional) and coordinate with your legal team
Final thought: you’re aiming for “boring and resilient”
High-conflict litigation rewards calm, credible, consistent behavior.
Cybersecurity is part of that. Not because you’re paranoid—because you’re reducing avoidable risk:
> fewer surprises
> fewer narrative ambushes
> fewer “how did they know that?” moments
If you want, tell us your ecosystem (iPhone/Android + Mac/Windows, Gmail/iCloud, any shared plans), and we'll give you a tight, step-by-step “do this in order” checklist tailored to your setup—still calm, still not alarmist.
